“Like a city whose walls are broken down is a person who lacks self-control.” (Proverbs 25:28)
The Proverb above says, that if we lack self-control, we are like a city without walls. We become defenceless – not from external attack, but to our own destructive behaviours.
Self-control is a guard for our life. Without it all the other characteristics of the fruit of the Spirit become worthless. Listen, watch this Sunday to find out more…
Fruit of the Spirit: Self- Control (2 Peter 1:1-11)
Giving up tea and coffee…
Are you in control of yourself?
Early last year on a Tuesday, I woke up and did my normal routine, coffee breakfast, off to prayers, staff meeting and back home to work. But I found myself much more tired and grumpy than normal. And as the day went on it wasn’t getting better.
After lunch, I was feeling so bad, I tried lying down for a bit. But when I woke up, I still felt bad! Then came a eureka moment. The coffee I had made myself in the morning had been decaffeinated, because we had run out of caffeinated coffee. I was suffering from caffein withdrawal. So, I ran to Aldi, bought some caffeinated coffee and quickly recovered.
However, the experience made me think. Who is in control of my life? Me or caffeine? Lent began soon after, so I decided to give up tea and coffee for Lent. Then at the end of Lent, I decided to give it up for good. I enjoyed not being enslaved to caffeine, not having to worry about having to chase my next fix, and I think I felt less stressed and I wasn’t tired in the same way. I felt more in control of my own life.
Now I am not saying everyone should give up coffee. Although, it is addictive, it is not harmful and arguably it may have some good effects. For me, however, regaining control from caffeine felt like a positive win.
Self-control is freedom. It is freedom from control by our inner desires. Freedom to do what we know to be right, rather to be ruled by our natural and often evil impulses.
Fruit of the Spirit
Today, we are finishing our series on the Fruit of the Spirit, the list of characteristics that Paul says, we gain as Christians as we learn to walk in step with God’s Spirit, as we become more like God in our characteristics.
Before he comes to the Fruit of the Spirit, Paul talks about our freedom as Christians:
“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature (or the flesh); rather, serve one another in love.” (Galatians 5:13)
He then lists, many examples of works of the flesh, before encouraging us to take on the fruit of the Spirit. Heading up the list and so taking the place of prime importance is ‘Love.’
But the last place in the list, also carries with it importance. And self-control is the last characteristic to be mentioned. Why does it hold such importance? Because the passage is all about self-control. Not giving in to the evil desires that destroy the world, the works of the flesh, but living in a way that pleases God.
Self-Control in thought down the ages:
Down the ages and across cultures, self-control has been viewed as a trait than helps us to be good and effective people.
In modern times, ― Stephen R. Covey, in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People says:
“The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person.”
During the Renaissance, Leonardo da Vinci said,
“One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.”
Back in Ancient Greece, Zeno of Citium, the founder of Stoicism said,
“Man conquers the world by conquering himself.”
But it is not just Greek or Western thought, Lao Tzu, a legendary Chinese Philosopher said,
“Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.”
Seeing self-control as a virtue, is not specifically Christian. Indeed, when the New Testament was being written, Stoicism was a popular philosophy in the Roman empire and Stoicism saw self-control as one of the most important virtues.
Why have self-control?
So, why have self-control? I want to suggest two reasons.
It Guards Us
Firstly, it guards us. There is a verse in Proverbs, which says:
“Like a city whose walls are broken down
is a man who lacks self-control.” (Proverbs 25:28)
In the ancient world, city walls, were a crucial guard against enemies who might come and raid your city, destroying and pillaging all that mattered to you. Without city walls, you were very vulnerable to raids and destruction. Even today, we spend lots of money on defence to make sure our country is protected from attack by enemies who might want to destroy us. You only have to look at what has happened to some parts of Ukraine, to see what happens when you cannot defend yourself against an aggressive neighbour.
But, on a personal level, self-control acts as a guard, not on threats from without, but from self-destruction. If we do not have control over our evil desires, then we will fall into behaviours that might destroy our life.
Many of those behaviours are what Paul lists as the works of the flesh in Galatians 5, before he talks about the fruit of the Spirit.
- If you do not keep your sexual desires under control, then you are in danger of being drawn into an affair and ruining your marriage.
- If you do not keep your curiosity for spiritualism or witchcraft under control, you may end up opening yourself up to evil spiritual influences.
- If you do not keep your impulse to be angry under control, you may lash out at those around you whom you love and cause damage to them and your relationships.
- If you do not keep your desire to be successful under control, you may end up walking over others in your desire to climb the career ladder.
- If you do not keep your desires for drink or drugs under control, you may end up destroying your physical health or wasting all your money on them.
The list could go on and on. But you get the point. If we can control ourselves, then we can guard against the destruction that our evil desires or lusts might lead us into.
In 2 Peter, after giving a list of virtues including self-control, he says:
“Therefore, my brothers and sisters, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall,” (2 Peter 1:10)
Self-control acts as a guard to us from falling away from God and back into a life dominated by sin.
It Grows Us
Secondly and more positively, self-control helps to grow us.
In 1 Corinthians, Paul says:
“Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last for ever.” (1 Corinthians 9:25)
If you want to be a success in sport, then you need self-discipline, which is a form of self-control. As we watch the World Cup, with the top players in the world competing against each other, it is easy to forget, the commitment and training that it has taken them to reach the highest levels of the sport.
Why is Harry Kane England’s top goal scorer? Partly, because he has amazing natural ability, but also because he has the self-control and self-discipline to train over many years and to keep at it. He could have all the natural ability in the world, but without the self-discipline and training, he would be a mere spectator like the rest of us.
But Paul’s point is not to become a successful athlete. His goal is something more important than winning the World Cup, it is winning eternal life. It is as Jesus put it, ‘storing up riches in heaven.’
Our passage in 2 Peter, also makes this point. It lists a number of qualities, including, self-control, and concludes:
“For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 1:8)
Self-control helps us to achieve things for God. To do the good deeds, that God has prepared in advance for us to do and ultimately as Jesus puts it, ‘to build up treasures in heaven’, so that as 2 Peter says:
“…and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 1:11)
How do we gain self-control?
So, if self-control is so important, how do we gain self-control as Christians? How do we gain this ability that guards us, and grows us as Christians?
Some people have it more naturally than others, and others have it because they were trained in it well by their parents when they were brought up. But, as Christians, whether we have it naturally or not, and whether we had good parenting or not, we can have self- control. How?
Well, the key comes at the start of the passage in 2 Peter 1:
“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” (2 Peter 1:3)
Jesus gives us everything we need for life and godliness. It is by knowing Jesus, being in a relationship with him – which is what being a Christian is – that gives us the power we need for life and godliness.
Often when you buy furniture online, it arrives in a flat pack. You have everything you need to make your piece of furniture, but you need to actually put it together for it to be any use. I remember when we were first married, we bought a lot of furniture that was flat packed. Most of it we put together, but there were some boxes that remained unpacked. We had all we needed for the set of shelves, but the box remained unopened for years. It remained useless.
For many Christians, God has given us all we need for a godly life, but we have done nothing to construct the life he wants from us. Peter says, in verse 5,
“For this reason, make every effort…”
So, what are we to do? The list suggests adding one thing to the next. It starts with faith and ends with love. We build from faith to love. Faith is the foundation. Love is the goal.
Everything else, flows out of our faith and towards the goal of love: goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance godliness and mutual affection.
So, how do we grow in self-control? We build it on the foundation of faith and with the goal of love.
To build on the foundation of faith, means to recognise what Jesus has done for us and continues to do for us.
- He died for our sins. It says in Galatians 5:24
“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature of flesh with its passions and desires.” (Galatians 5:24)
Jesus died because of the sins arising from our sinful nature or flesh. When we focus on the cross, we remember how serious our sins are and how much it cost Jesus to deal with them. So, in a sense we crucify them.
If you are struggling to control a specific evil desire in your life, then remind yourself what Jesus did to rescue you from the consequences of that sin.
- He gives us His Spirit.
“Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” (Galatians 5:25)
Jesus does not leave us alone. He is there to help us and train us by His Spirit. As we spend time with God in prayer, so we draw on his strength, to give us the self-control needed to control those evil desires. Don’t let time with God be squeezed out of your life, practice a deeper dependence on him for the support you need to gain self-control.
So, our faith is the foundation, but love is the goal. We need to remember the benefits of self-control, and it is to help us better love those around us, to be effective in our care for one another. You cannot love others, if you are controlled by drink of drugs. You cannot love others, if you are motivated by greed for self-gain or selfish ambition. You cannot love others, if you are overcome by fits of rage.
If you are struggling with self-control, ask God to help you remember the goal. To show love through good deeds to those around you.
Conclusion:
Self-control is so important. Many cultures recognise that. We need it to guard ourselves from self-destructive traits, we need it to succeed in our life’s goals.
The great news is that as Christians, we have all the resources we need to grow in self-control and so achieve the true Christian freedom and love that God calls us to.
As Paul says,
“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature (or the flesh); rather, serve one another in love.” (Galatians 5:13)
St. George's Church Ramsgate 